Through All the Facade

When I was working extended day this week, one of the older campers started to talk about how the counselors must get happy when kids leave on a vacation. “They [the counselors] must be like ‘YESSS’ inside,” he said as he wandered around the arts and crafts room.

He’s not wrong. Even if you only have a kid for a week, their little oddities and personality quirks can grate on you, especially if you constantly have to redirect them or force them to do activities. There’s always a piece of you that breathes a sigh of relief when that camper’s name doesn’t show up on the attendance for next week.

He’s not exactly right either. I, having to turn this situation around a little bit, brightly said, “That’s not always true! You know what my favorite part of the day is?” Some other campers offered some classic answers—swimming, popsicles, rock wall. “Nope. My favorite part of the day is sitting in this room.” Even when there are 15 of you all asking me to start your gimp or teach you the triple circle stitch I added in my head.



Since this kid has been at camp for many years, I don’t think he’s unhappy with his experience. But he did remind me that these kids do pick up on when adults don’t want to interact with them. He’s just telling it like he sees it. Since I work with the youngers, they are a little more oblivious to when counselors don’t want to deal with them, and it’s easier to forget yourself and let your mood drag a little too low. I guess what I’m saying is I’m learning that kids are more aware than I think they are and they are looking to me for role-modeling (even though I just see myself as a mere camp counselor).

There’s a couple of different directions my mind is taking me. I’m thinking about the separation of kids from their parents at the border. I’m imagining my campers, who are privileged enough not to worry about staying together as a family, trying to deal with something on that scale. I’m thinking about my own disillusionment with adults in the political sphere but also the role models that I look up to and how I’m affected when the people I look up to the most seem to have little hope about the injustices constantly plaguing our world. I’m thinking about how this interaction is driving me to think less about myself and more about my campers during the day and considering how this fits into my future identity as a teacher.


Most of all, I’m thinking about why this interaction stuck out to me. Maybe I’m thrown off by how this camper seemed to slice through all the facade that we often put on as camp counselors and just say it: sometimes we don’t want to be there. This is something that kids can often do, but I forget about it when I’m listening to the rambles of kindergartens, who cannot be anything more than self-absorbed. Maybe I just thought it was witty and perspective and something I could actually relate to as a person rather than in polite interest.


Podcasts: S-Town (from This American Life)
This is what I’ve been listening to as I bake. I don’t actually love it as much as I loved the first season of Serial, but it’s been pretty good. It gives a window into the Southern life that I’ve never seen as a New Englander, and I can’t quite figure out who to trust. But mostly, I just want to finish it.

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