I’m not exactly sure what to write about. Somehow the days keep slipping past my fingers and the “write a blog post” item on my to-do list keeps getting pushed to the bottom of my list, alongside “call the parents of people in my new advisory” and “go to sleep on time.”
Here are the thoughts that have been stewing in my brain:
I watched a video recently in my quest to find good art videos so the students in my art class can get some semblance of an art education from me about lettering, which is a style of art I can definitely get behind (and maybe one that I will try out someday). What stuck in my mind was a comment that the artist, Jessica Hische, made: “The work you do while you procrastinate is probably the work you should be doing for the rest of your life.” Ambivalence struck me—that comment makes perfect sense on the surface, but what does it mean that I procrastinate by skimming Twitter threads, watching niche gaming YouTube videos, and reading Young Adult novels? What’s my dream job—reading books? Searching the internet for fun content?
This Friday we didn’t have school and attended a regional Professional Development. Rather than attending the art teacher session, which is the role I am currently filling, I went to the middle school English workshop. I honestly did not have high hopes for this development. The company I work for isn’t the best with being at the forefront of good pedagogical techniques; however, I gained some good and practical strategies. I also just got to hang out with my coworkers, which was lovely since I barely see them anymore apart from 2 minute “how is everything going” chats.
We talked in that session about shifting discussions in class to be more student-focused, which requires a lot of scaffolding/teaching in the school that I am at since the students don’t listen to each other to start off, and it brought to mind another theme that is running through my life—community. Students crave community, even if they don’t recognize it, and it’s my job to provide the structure for the community (which I haven’t done yet). We all crave community. I realized this again in my house church’s discussion of the most recent sermon at Creston CRC on Luke 17:11–19, Jesus healing 10 men of their skin disease. Noah Kruis made a point that in these stories, Jesus isn’t saying that our physical disabilities are symbols of our sinfulness and made to be healed but are instead the representation of how we are cut off and excluded from other people. Jesus heals that exclusion and brings us back into community. If community has been such an important part of my life the last two years in Project Neighborhood, why shouldn’t I bring that community into a classroom? What’s stopping me, that the kids yell at each other? That I’m new? That we need to get all of this stuff done?
I love reading the post calvin and have enjoyed it even more now that I’m a writer since I feel known on the blog; however, I’m having some serious imposter syndrome. I feel like I don’t have anything new to say, and when I do have something to say that it’s just going to turn out like an uninteresting think piece. “But Alex, just write what is interesting to you!” Maybe. I also feel like my piece for November should be in tribute to Mom since it’ll be posted 2 days before the anniversary of her passing, but I don’t know if it’ll feel forced or shoehorned. I just want to write pieces like Courtney Zonnefeld’s meditation on grief, Katerina Parsons’ exploration of coming back to your home culture after being in a vastly different culture for years, Josh DeLacy’s journey through a line in a public bathroom, and Gwyenth Findlay’s subtle look at nostalgia through hockey. What do I have to share?
I want this blog to be more coherent and for me to spend more time on it. I’m considering to switch it to being hosted on Glitch, a sort of DIY place for websites, and its blog template. That feels like a good job for me to get my feet wet into coding again (and also include more pictures), but I haven’t found a Saturday to sit down and do it. Now that I think about it, I keep just piling on events to do and friends to meet weekend after weekend. And my body hasn’t gotten the memo that I don’t have to get up at 5 on weekends, so here I am, doing some of the stuff I haven’t been able to get to yet.
You deserve a better post, but this rambling and winding essay is pretty representative of my life right now. When I get my crap together and can stop avoiding the practices that actually help me process things, I’ll let ya know.
Recs:
These two poems by Mary Szybist. Space Struck (haven’t read it yet but am sure it’ll be good. She’s coming to the Festival of Faith and Writing!). Overnight Sourdough Waffles/Pancakes, which I’m about to go eat. Lucy Dacus’ cover of Dancing in the Dark.
Here are the thoughts that have been stewing in my brain:
I watched a video recently in my quest to find good art videos so the students in my art class can get some semblance of an art education from me about lettering, which is a style of art I can definitely get behind (and maybe one that I will try out someday). What stuck in my mind was a comment that the artist, Jessica Hische, made: “The work you do while you procrastinate is probably the work you should be doing for the rest of your life.” Ambivalence struck me—that comment makes perfect sense on the surface, but what does it mean that I procrastinate by skimming Twitter threads, watching niche gaming YouTube videos, and reading Young Adult novels? What’s my dream job—reading books? Searching the internet for fun content?
This Friday we didn’t have school and attended a regional Professional Development. Rather than attending the art teacher session, which is the role I am currently filling, I went to the middle school English workshop. I honestly did not have high hopes for this development. The company I work for isn’t the best with being at the forefront of good pedagogical techniques; however, I gained some good and practical strategies. I also just got to hang out with my coworkers, which was lovely since I barely see them anymore apart from 2 minute “how is everything going” chats.
We talked in that session about shifting discussions in class to be more student-focused, which requires a lot of scaffolding/teaching in the school that I am at since the students don’t listen to each other to start off, and it brought to mind another theme that is running through my life—community. Students crave community, even if they don’t recognize it, and it’s my job to provide the structure for the community (which I haven’t done yet). We all crave community. I realized this again in my house church’s discussion of the most recent sermon at Creston CRC on Luke 17:11–19, Jesus healing 10 men of their skin disease. Noah Kruis made a point that in these stories, Jesus isn’t saying that our physical disabilities are symbols of our sinfulness and made to be healed but are instead the representation of how we are cut off and excluded from other people. Jesus heals that exclusion and brings us back into community. If community has been such an important part of my life the last two years in Project Neighborhood, why shouldn’t I bring that community into a classroom? What’s stopping me, that the kids yell at each other? That I’m new? That we need to get all of this stuff done?
I love reading the post calvin and have enjoyed it even more now that I’m a writer since I feel known on the blog; however, I’m having some serious imposter syndrome. I feel like I don’t have anything new to say, and when I do have something to say that it’s just going to turn out like an uninteresting think piece. “But Alex, just write what is interesting to you!” Maybe. I also feel like my piece for November should be in tribute to Mom since it’ll be posted 2 days before the anniversary of her passing, but I don’t know if it’ll feel forced or shoehorned. I just want to write pieces like Courtney Zonnefeld’s meditation on grief, Katerina Parsons’ exploration of coming back to your home culture after being in a vastly different culture for years, Josh DeLacy’s journey through a line in a public bathroom, and Gwyenth Findlay’s subtle look at nostalgia through hockey. What do I have to share?
I want this blog to be more coherent and for me to spend more time on it. I’m considering to switch it to being hosted on Glitch, a sort of DIY place for websites, and its blog template. That feels like a good job for me to get my feet wet into coding again (and also include more pictures), but I haven’t found a Saturday to sit down and do it. Now that I think about it, I keep just piling on events to do and friends to meet weekend after weekend. And my body hasn’t gotten the memo that I don’t have to get up at 5 on weekends, so here I am, doing some of the stuff I haven’t been able to get to yet.
You deserve a better post, but this rambling and winding essay is pretty representative of my life right now. When I get my crap together and can stop avoiding the practices that actually help me process things, I’ll let ya know.
Recs:
These two poems by Mary Szybist. Space Struck (haven’t read it yet but am sure it’ll be good. She’s coming to the Festival of Faith and Writing!). Overnight Sourdough Waffles/Pancakes, which I’m about to go eat. Lucy Dacus’ cover of Dancing in the Dark.